Today happens to be my 40th birthday. Im not exactly where I hoped I would be in life. I do my best to be grateful for what I have, because there are people who have much less, struggle more, and go to bed hungry. I imagine they aren't where they thought they would be either...
Over the years, I have done some really stupid things. Interestingly enough, those stupid things led me to broader horizons.I can only hope my greatest achievements do not come from the insipidly dumb things I do. That would be irony, no? But it would be inline with the way the rest of my life is going. I look to the future with squinty eyes and a brave hope for better.
I have learned some very important things over the years. Sometimes I forget what I've learned, and need the lesson over again. Its never a pleasant thing, either. So here is a list to remind me, and maybe to save you some heartache down the line.
* Foremost is to never take someone you love for granted.
* People will never forget words spoken in anger.
* Mean what you say, and keep your word.
* The cruelest thing you can do is make someone doubt themselves.
* No one ever lies for the sake of another's feelings, no matter what they tell themselves.
* The people you love in your life are more important than your sense of righteousness. " Is it better to be right, or to be in love?" ~ Lewis P. Hicks.
* Forgiving doesn't mean you have to forget, it means you have to let it go.
* People will change, if you allow it. The trick is figuring out whether it's a change for the better.
* Truth is your best friend. It's easy enough to get along with if you accept all its faults.
* "I'm sorry." doesn't fix anything past the age of 14. Better to be careful with your actions and words, than to have to live with them the rest of your life.
* A person's heart is not a toy. Treat it with dignity and respect.
* If you can't be honest, be quiet.
* The best thing about this world is the people in it, and they are irreplaceable. Stuff is just stuff.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
A word of advice...
Today my friend, G , changed his 'cover' photo on Facebook to a picture of himself and his wife. Nothing unusual, is it? Except that his wife passed away nearly a year ago. He never goes more than a week without posting an old photo, or maybe a memory of her to his page. And once or twice, even a poem dealing with his grief over losing her.
This is a man who worked with many lovely ladies over the years, as an editor of a gentleman's magazine. ( And if you know who I am speaking of, please, for his privacy do not mention his name.) Still, of all the beautiful women he came to know, he believed his wife to be the most beautiful, and remained faithful to her through their long marriage, and even now through her death. And never once did he seem to take what time he had with her for granted; he is only sad that it couldn't be more.
I talk sometimes with friends and family who are married (or long term) and, for one silly reason or another, on the outs with their mates. For example, my sister was recently in the same town with her husband( they both travel a great deal for business), but both were in angry moods and neither were going to budge to see the other. I imagine G would give anything to be in their shoes, if only for a moment.
So often you take the person you love most for granted. You believe that you have moments to throw away, to waste on foolishness, because there will be another moment to come. Maybe I've experienced loss enough to understand that the moments you throw away are the ones you regret the most. When you've lost that person- through death or life changes- you mourn those precious seconds and hours that you could have had, and didn't take. You agonize over every priceless opportunity you left at your front step. It is those moments that haunt you, that leave you breathless with grief.
If you only take a single bit of advice from me, take this:
Every moment you have is a moment you will not get back. So fill those moments with as much happiness and love and you can. You only get that chance once. And all the anger, and the resentment, and the spite will only come back to hurt you. Life is not guaranteed. Time is not disposable, and Love is worth everything. Don't waste any of them.
This is a man who worked with many lovely ladies over the years, as an editor of a gentleman's magazine. ( And if you know who I am speaking of, please, for his privacy do not mention his name.) Still, of all the beautiful women he came to know, he believed his wife to be the most beautiful, and remained faithful to her through their long marriage, and even now through her death. And never once did he seem to take what time he had with her for granted; he is only sad that it couldn't be more.
I talk sometimes with friends and family who are married (or long term) and, for one silly reason or another, on the outs with their mates. For example, my sister was recently in the same town with her husband( they both travel a great deal for business), but both were in angry moods and neither were going to budge to see the other. I imagine G would give anything to be in their shoes, if only for a moment.
So often you take the person you love most for granted. You believe that you have moments to throw away, to waste on foolishness, because there will be another moment to come. Maybe I've experienced loss enough to understand that the moments you throw away are the ones you regret the most. When you've lost that person- through death or life changes- you mourn those precious seconds and hours that you could have had, and didn't take. You agonize over every priceless opportunity you left at your front step. It is those moments that haunt you, that leave you breathless with grief.
If you only take a single bit of advice from me, take this:
Every moment you have is a moment you will not get back. So fill those moments with as much happiness and love and you can. You only get that chance once. And all the anger, and the resentment, and the spite will only come back to hurt you. Life is not guaranteed. Time is not disposable, and Love is worth everything. Don't waste any of them.
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